At First Sight
by SiriusMarauderFan
Summary: During the reconstruction of Hogwarts, Madam Pince notices Filch hanging around a former student and vows to win him back using any means possible. OneShot. Written for the Autocomplete Me Challenge in the HPFC forum.


**Author's Note:**

Okay, I know you're not really into seeing Pince and Filch together, but just give this a chance, okay? Promise?

**At First Sight**

I knew something was wrong from the first moment I saw Argus and the red-haired brat whispering in the corridor. They'd never done it while the kid was attending school, but now that he was of age and labelled a hero by the wizarding population, Argus suddenly wanted to spend all their time together.

It was a busy summer with people coming and going in the castle, so I'm not surprised no one noticed but me. No one else pays attention to him the way I do. I saw the way he pulled Weasley away from the wreckage they were supposed to be cleaning up, just to talk. After that, Weasley came around a lot more.

Granger had been a pest when she was attending Hogwarts, but she'd been a great help to me in restoring the library. She had an uncanny ability to know just where those rotten Death Eaters had hidden my most precious books around the castle. Several times I considered telling her about what I'd seen Argus doing, because I knew she and the redhead were dating. In the end, I didn't think it was a good idea. She would blame Argus, or just break up with the boy. She wouldn't want to help me, so I decided it was time to take things into my own hands.

I had no idea what I was going to do to win my man back, so I left the library in Grangers hopefully capable hands and went shopping for inspiration. I couldn't go to Diagon Alley or Hogsmeade then. Not only were they still in dire need of repairs, but there was a better chance of my running into a Weasley there. I went home to Wales and to the little shopping district there. The bookstore was the biggest store there, something I admired about the place.

I went in search of advanced potions books. I needed some sort of strong love potion that would never wear off. That, or a potion that would make Weasley repulsive to Argus. While flipping through one tome, I came across something slightly out of place in a book about love potions: a pregnancy test potion.

At first I dismissed the potion and started flipping pages again, but then the brilliance of it occurred to me. You see, there was a chance - however small it may be - that I could have been pregnant with Argus' child. Of course, I knew I wasn't. I had none of the symptoms, and I always took the proper contraceptive potions, even if I was past my child-bearing years. Still, Argus didn't need to know this. All he needed to think was that I was pregnant with his baby, then he'd drop the redhead and come back to me.

After buying the book, I shopped for all the ingredients I would need and headed back to the castle. I told Granger that she could take over for another day or so in the library, and I believe she stupidly took this as a compliment. In reality, I needed the time to brew the potion. No doubt I'd have to correct her mistakes when I returned.

Slughorn allowed me the use of his private office and I spent the entire night in there, making sure the potion was perfect. When it was done - a glistening cauldron of pastel goo - I came to the realization that if I was going to fake a pregnancy test, I needed someone who was actually pregnant to help me. Spells, sadly, did not work on such potions to prevent tampering. I almost gave up hope on my plan, until I remembered Argus' faithful cat, Mrs. Norris. I'd witnessed her sneaking around the library in the past few weeks with Granger's pet.

It wasn't hard to find the dust-colored creature. It was late, well after midnight, and Granger had gone home. Mrs. Norris was still curled up behind one of the bookshelves in a makeshift bed of torn bits of parchment and my old winter cloak. Slowly, so as not to make her suspicious, I poured the potion into a bowl and mixed a little milk in with it. The milk thankfully would not taint the potion. The cat took a few weary licks of the potion. As soon as her tongue touched the liquid, it began to change color. She ran away, clearly spooked, and I squealed for joy as the milky potion turned a vivid purple. She was pregnant!

I poured the potion into a drinking glass to make it seem as though I'd sipped from it. I covered it, then sent a note to Argus asking that he come to my chambers the following night for dinner. I was thrilled when I woke up to find his reply agreeing to come.

I prepared a special dinner for us that night. Steak and kidney pie, his favorite. When he arrived, bringing me a single white rose, he seemed preoccupied and the conversation during dinner was awkward. We talked for a short while about how his office had been torn apart by an unknown intruder recently, and then we fell into an uneasy silence. I had hoped his relationship with the boy wasn't as serious and it had looked, but I was clearly wrong. When we were finished eating, I led him to the lumpy couch and told him to wait there while I got his surprise. The glass full of potion was hidden in my bedroom.

I had to explain to him what the potion was as Argus had no knowledge of such things, and the milk had altered its appearance anyhow. He was confused at first. A purple pregnancy potion meant nothing to him until I explained what it being purple meant.

"You're sure?" he said.

"Yes," I said, and it killed me to lie to him.

He sighed and stayed quiet for a few moments. I was afraid he'd leave or call me a liar.

"All right, then," he said. "Are you keeping it?"

"I'd like to."

"Okay."

And that was it. He'd accepted it. He even asked if there was anything he could do for me. I told him that I didn't need anything right then. We spent the rest of the night discussing the restoration of the school, when my mind was making a list of everything I need to do in the coming week. At the top was to brew another potion, something else I'd seen in the book ... one of great fertility.

Another week passed. Things remained the same. Every time Weasley came to the castle, I saw them together. It was even worse now that Argus thought I was pregnant. They seemed to spend even more time talking. One afternoon I even caught Argus smiling and laughing with the boy, and when they were about to part, they shook hands. I nearly broke down right there in the middle of the Great Hall. Argus never smiled around anyone but me, nevermind physical contact.

That night we were having dinner in Argus' rooms. I had finished the fertility potion and taken over the recommended dose, just to be sure it worked. I even wore my best outfit; a faded grey and soft pink floral dress.

Argus was quiet during dinner. I wondered if he was still thinking about the boy or if he was regretting his decision to stay with me. When we finished, I stood to take the plates to the sink but he put a hand on my arm to stop me.

"Irma," he said softly. I smiled, as I did every time he said my name. "Sit. I ... I have something I need to say."

My smiled disappeared as I sat back down watched him worriedly. This was it, I thought. He was going to break up with me for that red-haired brat. He didn't want to be a father to our unborn, nonexistent child.

"We've been together a long time," he began with his eyes firmly set looking at the table. "And I've had a wonderful time of it. These last months have changed things though. We've survived a war - our relationship has survived a war. I think that's saying something."

I still wasn't sure where this was going so I stayed silent when he paused to take something out of his jacket pocket. And then I saw what it was. A small, square, brown box. About the perfect size for a ring.

I gasped. This was not what I was expecting, but it wasn't exactly an unwelcome turn of events. I _was_ planning on becoming pregnant that night. And, being the perfect gentleman that he was, it was only natural that Argus ask me to marry him. But, as he dropped down on one knee beside my chair, I realized that was the problem. As much as I longed to hear him ask the question, I couldn't let him do it for the wrong reasons. I had to tell him about the fake pregnancy test.

He had a hand out to open the box, but I stopped him.

"Argus, there's something you need to know." He dropped his hand and looked hurt. "I can't let you go through with this for the wrong reasons. Dear, the pregnancy test ... it was a lie. I gave the potion to Mrs. Norris. I-I'm not pregnant."

He seemed confused for a few seconds. "Why?" he finally asked. "Why would you do that?"

"Because I see the way you've been hanging around Ronald Weasley. I see the way you talk to him and smile when you're with him. I just couldn't take it anymore. I had to find a way to get you back." I fell silent, waiting for his reaction. What I didn't expect was to see him burst out laughing.

"And just _what_ is so funny?" I asked, crossing my arms over my chest.

"You ... you think I a-and the Weasley are..." he paused to wipe away a tear. "You think we're in a relationship?"

I blinked a couple of times. "Aren't you?"

"No! I saved his neck during the battle. Knocked the Carrow woman over the head with a torch. When he came back to help rebuild the castle, he wanted to know if there was anything he could do to repay me. That's why we've been talking. He's been getting a few things for me."

"What things?"

Argus smiled again and finally opened the box. Inside was the most beautiful ring I'd ever seen. It was a simple silver band with three small stones in it. There was nothing big or showy about it. It was perfect, and I told him as much. 

"I thought you'd like it. I have some money saved up from when my mother died. And Dumbledore left me some too. I told Weasley I needed to find a ring. Gave him a description and the money and he found a guy who could do the job. Plus, I didn't know your ring size, so Weasley put a spell on it to make it fit you no matter what."

"Oh, Argus. I'm so sorry I doubted you."

"Well, there is a way you could make it up to me, you know?" He grinned wickedly and held up the box. "Let's try this again. Irma Pince, will you be my wife?"

I pretended to have to think about it but ultimately said yes. We celebrated all night and most of the morning too. It was only when I finally went to work in the library - the gorgeous ring sparkling on my finger - and saw the empty vials on my desk that I remembered the fertility potion I'd taken the night before...

**Author's Note:**

Sorry, I couldn't just let them have a happy ending. xD

Let me know what you thought of the story in a review, and if you maybe want to see some sort of sequel.

-Lizzy


End file.
